It is always nerve-wracking to schedule a first date, even if you have been on plenty of them before. You are excited yet nervous about getting to know this intriguing person that you could potentially share your life with. It is important to relax because the chances of running into the love of your life are greater than you think.Simply take cues from your enviable friends who seem to find their match every time they go out and aim to make great first impressions! Consider beginning conversations with questions relevant to yourself or relevant to your date so you can start off on the right foot without seeming too eager to please later on in an otherwise comfortable conversation.Start off on all the right notes by making sure you look your best and that you present yourself as an interesting person both intellectually and visually!But it too may happen that you get too excited or too nervous during the date and say or do something that disrupts the connection before it builds up. Here are the 14 things you best avoid ensuring that your search for the perfect partner sustains. It is those crucial few minutes that decide the success of your date and the chances of the second one happening.
1. Be You, No Matter What!
You can never win over your date by trying to be someone that you are not! – Why waste the time faking out a date to impress them into thinking that this is who you really are? I mean, if someone does not like you because of how *dramatically* different you are compared to your initial impression, then there must be SOMEONE out there who will love and understand the REAL YOU. Who knows? You might even meet them in 5 minutes or maybe 5 years from now… but faking it will not deliver the results you need and make both of your lives better in this specific situation. So, in short: BE YOURSELF!
2. Keep the Mystery Alive
When you are on a date, people tend to open up more, become more relaxed and say the things they might not usually say when they meet someone for the first time. That is especially true if your date is someone whom you like and who seems to like you too. This takes care of itself most of the time and it is something most people do not even think about. But if there is a chance that only one party feels the spark or that they are not really that into each other then maybe you should try keeping your cards close to your chest at first instead of just saying whatever comes into your head. If you are interested, this will also keep them interested and wanting to learn more about you in future dates!
3. They are not your Friends
It is good to be on an exclusive date with a special someone. That is fantastic! Just do not lose your cool and your manners too soon by getting too familiar way too quickly. When you like someone, it can be easy to become familiar with them really fast but remember that there is an art to getting to know someone without becoming over-attached immediately! And by not giving yourself enough time to get more comfortable, you run the risk of scaring them off.It is advisable that if you want to put your arm around them for example, do so only after the first half hour at least. By then, they should know that you are interested in them already and feeling more comfortable around you – and will also see that kind of gesture as a sign of how much you like spending time with each other!
4. The World Does Not Revolves Around You
As a newbie, you may experience self-inflicted pressure while dating. For example: “will this person like me?” and “these shoes make me look fat,” and so on… But the trick to not let all of that get to you is by not putting yourself at the center of attention on the date.It is easy to concentrate solely on what you are saying since after all it is your date but remain alert for signs that your date is not having such an exciting time. This is stated in the old book written by Dale Carnegie who said that if you cannot remember what contributed to an enjoyable conversation during the course of the event, then the conversation has probably gone too long already.Do not revolve the date around yourself. And unknown to many daters, this is where most people fail miserably at finding love online. The intention of trying to portray yourself in the best light can actually end up making you seem like a bit of a show-off if you are not careful!
5. Asking too Many Questions is a No Go
Having an enjoyable conversation is what really matters during your date. But there are some specific things you should know before you begin. There are people who make the mistake of turning a conversation into a standard interview, where both parties have to answer questions. Conversations need to feel natural and fluid if they are going to be a success. Make sure that you do not ask too many questions, because this will kill any kind of interesting vibe in the air. A little bit of mystery just makes everything more exciting!Keep in mind that it is ok if some of the questions from your list do not get answered right away, just add them to one of those unfinished thoughts at the end of the evening. Also remember that asking open ended questions means that you need to give open ended responses. Do not try and remember every question from your list – instead, focus on having a memorable experience with someone special.
6. Letting Nervousness Get Over You
You just want to get this first date right. We understand that you want your date to go well, but here is the thing: it should not be for you for this date to be perfect – it should not matter if you mess up or say something wrong because at the end of the night, what really matters is getting to know each other and having fun.After all, no one is perfect, so mistakes are bound to happen! There will always be another chance because there will always be another person. The most important thing is not getting hung up on trying to make things perfect… for yourself or your date.Letting Nervousness Get Over You-AffectionGuide
7. Dressing Up without Thought
All over the world, there are many ways in which people choose to dress on dates – some like to keep things simple and casual, while others take their looks to impressive heights! It is understood that it is especially important to make sure you look presentable both for yourself and your date (especially if it is the first date), but what is the best way to strike that balance between looking simply elegant or casually eye-catching?The way you dress on a date is particularly important. Some people think it is best to stay comfortable; others believe you need to dress up to impress your date. If you are too dressed down, your date might think you do not put in much effort. But if you go overboard, your date might feel embarrassed around other people for getting dragged along on what looks like an expensive date.
8. Holding High Expectations
Try not to expect anything from a first date. Sometimes plans fall through and nothing will go as expected. If you try and treat your first few dates with someone like a new friend or acquaintance (but someone that you might want to pursue something romantic with, of course), it will be easier for you to accept whatever happens during the interactions and it will be less stressful!Always try to set realistic expectations for yourself and your date(s) before anything else. If you maintain artificially lofty expectations that are practically impossible for anyone to meet, then even the perfect date can leave you unsatisfied because of these unachievable standards.
9. Inappropriate Sexual Chemistry
Sexual chemistry is an exciting thing and something that two people can naturally build and fall into with each other. If you find your date mate to be sexually exciting, we do not advise you to go overboard and always try to grab for their hands unnecessarily. Keep it cool and just let things develop naturally between both of you as individuals.Sexual chemistry between two people is usually comes naturally. You cannot make your date feel it, but if you find them sexually attractive, do not overdo it or go overboard touching them or try to grab their hands. When the spark happens, it happens!
10. Being Overly Accommodating
Being cooperative and open-minded is one thing but being accommodating is a completely different matter. Do not fall into the trap of putting up with your date’s demands just because you do not want to offend them by saying no. If you come across as being too easygoing, your date may take advantage of your submissive nature or worse, get bored of having someone who has no backbone or opinions of their own at their disposal.
11. Being too Bossy
The opposite of being too accommodating is being overbearing. Do not approach every topic that produces an argument just to show off your excessive confidence or to keep a conversation going when you are trying to display your eloquence.Try to steer the conversation towards a different topic after about 5 minutes unless your partner asks you a question about it or looks as if they accidentally inserted themselves into a topic for which they have no real interest in knowing more about.
12. Talking About Being Over Your Ex
You should not try to convince your date of something. Just be yourself. Do not whine about your ex just to prove you are over them! Changing your personality for someone is a huge red flag, and you will probably come off as whiny instead. That will make both of them uncomfortable and put a lot of pressure on the new relationship between you two!Embracing who you actually are means feeling comfortable talking about exes, but if they ask personal questions, always feel free to change the subject or tell them politely that those questions are off-limits. It is fine if they want to talk about their ex from time to time – it can even be hilarious. Just as long as everyone knows there is no pressure to conform to one way of relating!
13. Giving Out Too Many Compliments
Compliments are a terrific way to make your date feel appreciated. Everyone wants to know that they are a catch, and they are worth someone’s time! This is especially true on a first date. However, it can be overdone. If you make your date, feel as though they need to win *you* over… you run the risk of them feeling awkward or as if they do not measure up.On a first date, it is always best to make sure you know how far you can go when giving genuine compliments. Everyone wants to be validated with good feelings about themselves — but not when the compliments are obvious, empty flattery. Make it clear your compliments mean something; produce examples of what they specifically do for you and save cliches for another time. Flirting is fine on this date, but there is a difference between flirting that leaves your date laughing and flirting that makes them feel like crud.
14. Planning the Second Date
When it comes to planning your date, keep things light and clear of any and all interruptions and intrusions! Deciding on where you would like to go on a second date is important but leaving many if not all of these details for later helps to ensure that the first date goes smoothly. It is also good practice to avoid making your date feel pressured on any level – something that can be easy to do when trying to impress them on a first date.If they are interested, they will offer suggestions or ask about your thoughts regarding distinct types of activities that you might want to partake in with them over the next few weekends. On the other side of the spectrum, if they are not asking for specifics or proposing their own plans, chances are they are not interested in seeing you again after tonight anyway – so do not get your hopes up!
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