His Secret Obsession is a guidebook that is designed to help women understand exactly what a man is looking for in a relationship. The guide has gained a lot of popularity online since its release, so I figured let me check it out and see if he holds any value. The goal of the book is to show women what men are motivated by in relationships and tell women the tricks to winning the affection of any man or the man they are currently dating.
When you enter a relationship, it takes your life to a new level. You’re in love, life is good, and you couldn’t be happier. However, relationships take work and time. Often, many people start to stagnant the longer they are in a relationship and your partner will begin to drift away. If you find that your relationship is starting to go stale, then maybe you should give his secret obsession a read. If you have found that your long-term boyfriend has started to cancel dates, isn’t as sexually attracted to you, or hasn’t been as romantic as you would like, then you definitely need to give this book a read.
The book is going to give you the tools you need to regain the love and commitment of your man. It will explain to you how the male brain works and how you can use scientifically proven tactics to make a man become obsessed with you.
Sounds pretty good to me. I’ve struggled to maintain relationships with my boyfriends my entire life. Whenever I noticed things would start to get to bland or he was losing interest, I started becoming overly affectionate and clingy, which is a big turn-off to a man who is starting to lose interest in a relationship. With that being said, I had to give this book a read, although I was a skeptic going into it.
Let’s talk about the author, James Bauer. Bauer wrote this book with the intention of helping to build stronger relationships. The guide doesn’t explain just how to maintain a relationship, but how to form one. It starts all the way from the initial date all the way until marriage. I found this to be fantastic, it’s essentially a guide on how to create a successful relationship. You often find that books such as these cater to people who are already in long-term relationships. People who are single often get left out in the dust, so I was pleased to see James Bauer take the initiative to write about the early stages of a relationship.
[Read: 13 things that will make him go wild. ]
One of the best aspects of this book is it is available as an audio book. I don’t know about you, but I am very busy these days, and I really only have time to myself when I’m driving. I always listen to audio books or podcasts while I drive, so having this on audio book was fantastic. I was able to listen to the book on my way to work, on my lunch break, and on my way home. I even listened to His Secret Obsession in the morning from my phone as I was getting ready for work. You can also purchase the book as a PDF if you are more of a reader which is nice because you can read it on your computer, tablet, or smartphone. You don’t have to physically carry around a book that shows others you are insecure about your relationships.
One thing James Bauer does well is explain the needs of men through evolutionary psychology. He lists several tips and strategies that are not only usable in relationships, but in everyday life to strengthen your relationships.
In the book, Bauer touches on three main points:
- Why men seem to dislike long-term commitment even if they are happy.
- Why men gradually lose interest in relationships.
- Why men will stay in relationships they are unhappy with.
The book explains that men are driven by their instinctual needs that are based in evolutionary biology.
So, Does This Work?
What Bauer is trying to get across through His Secret Obsession is how to tap into what is called a man’s “hero instinct”. He gives women a list of things they can do to make the man they are after or the man they are with feel like a hero.
One of the biggest points Bauer makes it to take pleasure in a mans masculine company. I know this may sound a bit strange, but when I gave it some thought it makes sense. Men are simple creatures, they want to feel like they are strong and appreciated. That “alpha” instinct is in all men, and they want their woman to see them as such.
When I reflected back on my relationships, I realized I never gave my man compliments of for being strong or complemented his masculinity at all. Sure, I would say he had a good body or something along those lines, but never anything directly complimenting their masculinity and making them feel like a man.
Another point Bauer made was to help your man when you can. One thing I admittedly do in my relationships is become complacent. I’ll ask my man to do a lot, but rarely will I offer to help. Not to say I didn’t ever help him, but for example, I would say, “Hey Babe, can you come to fix the closet door?” and rather than stand there and ask what I could do to help, I would leave the task to him alone. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but it becomes very naggy over time and will make your man begin to resent you.
These are both great examples of how the book makes you think differently about your relationship and your actions within it. It really made me stop and realize that hm, I haven’t been a very engaging partner, and what I am doing is not making my man want to pursue me at all.
The book also includes stages of a relationship and what you can do to counteract them.
1. the attraction stage, this is for the early stages of a relationship and gives you a breakdown of what you can do to attract a man and keep him attracted. This is the foundational attraction to base a new relationship on.
2. the falling apart stage. This stage is typically when relationships start to break off. Bauer will explain to you why this typically happens and what you can do to make sure it doesn’t happen to you.
3. the re-spark. In this stage, Bauer explains why men lose interest in relationships. His Secret Obsession will give you the techniques needed to keep your man interested in your relationship and not want to drift off and find a new love interest.
4 . the win your ex-back stage. This stage is designed to get that person back in your life you are desperately missing. This will show you how to recapture that initial spark you had when the relationship began and what you can do to win back to your ex.
Should Read His Secret Obsession?
In my opinion, absolutely! If you’re a woman who is looking to learn more about a man’s psychology, then you absolutely need to give this book a read. If you’re a single woman who seems to have a hard time staying in a relationship or even attracting men, this book would do you wonders. Remember, this book discusses the male brain, so if you’re looking to attract a woman, this might not be the best choice for you.
This book is probably not suited for someone who isn’t looking for a long-term relationship. The book’s entire purpose is to attract a man, so you can have a long-lasting relationship and have him be obsessed with you. If you’re someone who is looking for one-night stands and it isn’t into men being obsessed over you, then you may want to give another book a read.
With all that being said, if you continuously find yourself struggling in relationships and just can’t seem to figure out the right methods to make them work, then you need to give His Secret Obsession a read. I know that ever since I have read this book, the guy I have been dating is noticeably more attracted to me. All you have to do is apply the tips within the book, and you will start to notice the difference. Remember, this isn’t an overnight success. This will take a decent amount of work on your part, but if you think your partner truly is the one for you, then this won’t feel like work. Plus, the end reward to all of this time you put it in is your man being head over heels in love with you and truly obsessed with you. What is better than that?
I cant recommend enough that every woman out there gives this book a read or the audio book a listen. Who knows, by this time next month you could be with the man of your dreams!