She is excessively penniless. That is, she depends on him a lot for things she ought to accomplish for herself.
She is too tenacious. She doesn’t have a daily existence outside of him, and he doesn’t need that obligation of engaging her and being her entire world.
Her lifestyle is expensive and/or time-consuming. She spends a great deal of cash on apparel, makeup, hair appointments, and she takes forever to get ready for an event, even something as casual as a day at the beach. Going to a fast-food restaurant, for example, is not forthe her-every day has to be an episode of “Real Wives”, where putting on the ritz is mandatory.
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She whines about minor issues. She isn’t a “roll with the punches” type of person that can be exhausting to be around. Things in life sometimes don’t go as planned, and whining about it doesn’t help.
She is difficult to please. He feels he cannot take her girlfriend to a restaurant she’d be happy with, or buy her a gift she’d like, or plan a date she’d enjoy, or do her favors that she’d appreciate (see that “lifestyle is expensive and/or time-consuming bullet).
She is insanely jealous/suspicious. He may be tired of fighting with her every time he associates with a woman who isn’t she. Men have female friends and/or associates and there are reasons why they’d want to meet with them on occasion.
One thing she might consider, though is this:
He might consider her “high maintenance” because he feels he cannot control her and he doesn’t want to keep trying because she is a hard nut to crack and in this case, being “high maintenance” would be a very good thing. Controlling men are not the men the woman wants.
How to know if your girlfriend is high maintenance.
Watch your girlfriend navigate life’s less pleasant details. Boring mundane ones, but especially the unexpected and sometimes unpleasant ones. A great testing ground for this is to go on a trip together! It must be at least a week-long; two weeks is even better for some good relationship stress-testing.
1:How much fuss factor is there in planning the trip?
Be concerned about someone who must have every detail ironed out, and cannot stand the idea of unpredictability. Be sure to go somewhere that is real, not a polished perfect vacation paradise.
2:How does your girlfriend react to the unforeseen during the trip?
When flights are canceled, when luggage is lost, when the car breaks down, when hotels are full, when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you have to spend the night in an airport, how does your girlfriend handle this? Grace? Humor? Matter-of-fact facing it and solving the problem? Goes with the flow?Bursts into song? Or is it cause for panic, anger, anxiety, “I’m in hell!”, “Everything is ruined!” “This is your fault!” kind of response? Your girlfriend doesn’t have to like sleeping in an airport, but they don’t have to bitch & whine about it the entire time. Toss in a minor medical problem. It can be yours or your partner’s. Dealing with pain and illness is a great way to find out who is really inside your partner.
3:Watch how your girlfriend handles the financial aspects of the trip.
Is she obsessed with the costs of things? Or she thoughtless about expenses? Either extreme is a warning sign. Obsessive people are high maintenance, but so are people who are thoughtless of the impact of their behavior on others.
4:Being side by side with somebody 24/7 for a week or two is revealing.
Novelty wears off, people get tired and grumpy at points, and eventually, you get to experience the true nature of the person you are with. Of course, they also get to experience the real you too as you put a slightly lower & more reasonable amount of energy into maintaining your outward self. If you notice yourself feeling subtly drained by what you thought was simply your girlfriend’s colorful quirky nature, this is not a good sign. If you discover your girlfriend growing increasingly less indulgent of your needs, not good either.
5:Speaking of being together for two weeks, is your partner okay with being apart for a few hours at points in the trip?
They want to go see something you do not or vice versa. If your girlfriend panics at not having your full-time attention, cannot be alone, insists that every interest must be mutual, or has no interests of their own, this is high maintenance behavior.
6: In the weeks after the trip are you still on speaking terms with your girlfriend?
If not, well there’s the answer you were after. Otherwise, note how your girlfriend describes the experience to others. Is it a recitation of the various bad things that happened, or is it fondly remembered for all the good moments.
[Read: What is his secret obsession. ]
Just clothing and money are not always full tell-tale signs of maintenance. It is all in the details. Also, women may be a tad more of a challenge for many men since they are not versed in the regular make-up routines of most women. But once you do, then you can tell just by the way they may manicure certain parts of their bodies, like eyebrows, amounts/layers of make-up, hairstyles.
Generally, if a woman has a very complex hair-do (not just the style, but the cut), then chances are that she is high maintenance, for example. Since it means that she picked that hairstyle knowing that it would take a lot of upkeep to look in full bloom.
If you are a well-rounded person, then the easiest thing is to learn the average routines of the opposite sex, and then you will have a base to go on. Alternatively, you can just learn from your dating experience, however, depending on your dating life and style, that may take longer.