Introverts usually have a hard time meeting a new potential date just because they are too shy. In this blog, we will list 19 simple tips and tricks you can follow and change your life.
If we are categorizing people as introverts and extroverts, there is a common misconception that introverts have a bit of hard luck in the dating scene. People usually think that extroverts get amazing dates thanks to their ability to communicate well. But that is not exactly true.
Introverts are some of the best listeners and can also contribute greatly to the conversations with the topic of their interest. They are sensitive, have an inquisitorial and introspective thought process, and can be fun to hang out with.
And unlike extroverts, they have a handful of close friends with a deep understanding. So, if you have a good connection with an introverted friend, you can be rest assured that they will be there throughout.
If you are an introvert, you might know how it feels to be devoid of a company you desire. It is often hard for introverts to approach people, let alone forming a connection deep enough to ask them out on a date.
You do not necessarily need to wait for someone to ask you out on a date. As an introvert, you can also find the confidence to ask people out.
For all the introverts reading this blog, here are a few tips and tricks that are sure to help you out in the future.
Finding a Date?
Extroverts can go out there and socialize to find a date for themselves. But introverts are not cut from the same cloth. Try these tips to find yourself a date and form a genuine connection with them.
1. Go Online
Introverts are well acquainted with the pressure of socializing in person. Going online takes that pressure off. You can wait and think before texting without worrying about being judged for a late reply. Also, going online is a great way to interact with people according to their interests and know more about them like the places they like to hang out at and the activities they try to participate in.
2. Join a Group / Volunteer / Take a Class
These are the places where people from different walks of life interact and move towards a common goal. In any of these places you are in a group of people with shared interests and changes are you may get a liking towards someone.
Also, these are good places for healthy social interaction. You will be assigned in groups for projects and other activities and give you a reason to interact with people who you have never seen before.
3. Recommendations from your Friends
Most friends have good intentions and even though they may not have the perfect date for you in mind, they can introduce you to some nice people. Maybe you get set up with someone who is not your type but end up finding a common interest and hold a great conversation.
4. Go on Night Outs
Yeah, it is not likely to be your style. But just get out of your comfort zone once in a while and get out there to meet someone. There are chances that the effort you put in dressing yourself up to give some good results.
5. Focus on Presenting Yourself Better
Downcast eyes, crossed arms, and fidgety fingers can be your everyday look, but it is a clear display that you are uncomfortable and lack confidence in social situations. Practice walking and sitting with a straight back, smile while having conversations, and try clothes that help you look sharp. Your presentation helps you socialize and reach out to people easily.
6. Find Someone who Takes the Limelight
As an introvert, you might think that the perfect date would be outgoing enough to compensate for your silence. But there is more to it than just compensating. Your perfect date would be the one who appreciates your silence and also gives cues that they are interested in what you have to say.
7. Practice Short Conversation with Anyone You Meet
This may seem cumbersome, but everyone needs practice with something there are not good at. Be it a short hello or a brief greeting, short conversations will help you build confidence in interacting with people. Say hello to your neighbors and acquaintances when you see them and ask them about their or week. Small talk will help you get noticed easily.
Where to Go for a Date?
Once you have engaged someone in a conversation and asked them out, the next step is finding the ideal location where you would be comfortable.
1. A Café with Live Music
A nice cozy café with dim lights and live acoustic music that touches your soul gives you the perfect environment to be comfortable and open up. It is a nice choice if you both have a keen interest in music. Order some drinks of your choice with some light snacks and get cracking with internal jokes and cute anecdotes.
2. Coffee Café
Most coffee shops have a lively environment that helps you easily blend in. But it is more of a second date venue when you have known your date for a while and are comfortable talking about deeper stuff. Casually walk up to the coffee café with your partner, grab a coffee, and talk about what your date takes a keen interest in.
3. Art Gallery or Museum
Most introverts are interested in art and antiques. With a history to be told, these artifacts give you the perfect opening to a conversation. And if you have exerted all your social energy, you can simply walk hand-in-hand to take in the beauty curated by the museum proctor. Ask your date about the art they are interested in and pick a place accordingly. You might get stuck if a museum is not your partner’s cup of tea.
Going to a movie is a pretty standard choice of date venues. It gives you time to talk and get close while giving you a completely new experience. Moreover, a movie also gives you something more to talk about afterward. Pick your date from their place and get them to watch the latest blockbuster with you. Make sure that they like the genre of the movie, else there are plenty of options available anytime.
What to do When on a Date?
Now that you have picked a place, you are sure to get uncomfortable. Introverts easily get awkward if they feel like they have nothing to add to a conversation. If you feel stuck in the middle of a date and are confused about the next course of action, follow one of the following tips and sail through troubled waters.
1. You are not an Extrovert, Don’t Pretend
You might be excited and start acting like an extrovert, but you can’t hold the action for too long. Sooner or later, your social batteries will get exhausted, and the situation will get weird. Moreover, your date can easily see through your act and will make the situation unfavorable for you.
It is completely okay to feel shy around the person you like. Admit to it if you feel uncomfortable initiating the conversation. Make them understand that you see the world differently. And maybe talk about something you both are equally invested in.
Pretense is in no way beneficial for you. Even if the date goes okay, your partner will set different expectations from you that won’t be able to fulfill. Stay true to what you are and if the current date doesn’t like the real you, someone else will.
2. Watch Your Appearance and Body Language
More than half of our conversations are non-verbal is conveyed through variations in body language. And most of it happens subconsciously. Try to maintain eye contact and a slight smile while talking to your date, but don’t look straight in their eyes for a long time.
Wear clothes that suit you and the occasion. Get yourself properly groomed before the date to look sharp and appealing. A slight touch on the hand while talking, pat on the shoulder while laughing, and side hug when meeting or departing are gestures that help you make an interpersonal connection with your date. It will help you enter their safe circle and get you close.
3. Take it Easy
There is no need to execute a date in multiple stages. Especially when you are an introvert and haven’t been on a date in some time. Prolonged dates are for people who already know each other or have been on a few dates before. Planning to go to the movies after a brunch and following up with a visit to the bar can be quite tiring.
Try to know your partner first. Ask them about the place they would like to go to and plan a small date. If it goes well, you can plan the rest of the activities for the next date. If not, you can get to quickly end the date and be on your way to a cup of hot chocolate with a nice read to end the day.
4. Listen, Think, and Internalize
Introverts have a great power to pick up little nuances from everyday conversations. If you are the first introvert date for your partner, they are in for a surprise. Talk to them about everyday life and pick out little topics to further expand the conversation. Introverts are known to be empathetic, and that would help here.
Showing interest in what your date has to say is an easy and great way to be remembered and acknowledged. Hold their hands if they are talking about something troublesome or personal to show them your support and presence in their life.
5. Ask Questions
If you feel like you have nothing important to say, ask your date a question. It can be about anything related to them, their family, work, friends, or the places they like to visit. Introverts have an inquisitorial mind and can remember those tiny details from casual conversations that most people forget.
You can even start the conversation with a hypothetical question to know more about their thought process and way of living.
6. Tell them How You Feel
Your date might have a different venue or active in mind than you. If they insist on picking a place you dislike or is usually too crowded and loud, tell them. Explain that you are an introvert and are not comfortable going to places where there is unnecessary social interaction. If you go along with them without telling them how you would feel, the date might get too awkward too quickly. You might even make them feel underappreciated and dejected if they think that you do not like the place.
7. Drink Responsibly
It is okay to drink to calm down your nerves during a date. It helps you open and interact more freely. Liquor has a knack for boosting confidence in people and take out the words that reside in your heart. A couple of beers on a beach, a bottle of wine in a restaurant, or a glass of whisky around the bonfire, everything will help you lose inhibitions. But responsible drinking must be practiced. If you get smashed, there is seldom any chance for a second date.
8. Get Some Time to Yourself
A couple of hours of socializing can exceed your limit and make you feel overwhelmed. Go home and get yourself comfortable. Do the activity you like and don’t think about the date much. You have done a good job in finding a date and going to it. Now it is time to charge your social battery and plan for the next date.
Whatever the outcome, give yourself a treat on exploring the world outside your home.
Being an introvert is as normal as breathing. And you have some amazing qualities that set you apart from the crowd. Keep exploring and introspecting until you find someone you can happily spend your life with.