One of the first things that we look for when wanting to date someone or get into a relationship is their personality. We all want someone transparent to make your work easier deciding if you are compatible. You, however, don’t wish to come across someone with a high conflict personality because they can make your life difficult if you don’t know to handle them. People with high conflict personalities have always been around, and many people tend to avoid them, but you should know how to spot them before you do that.
Characteristics of a person with a high conflict personality
Getting into a relationship is a big blind step because you are never sure about who you are dating unless you have been around each other for a long time. If it is someone new, you must take your time to learn them from every angle. It would be best if you saw how they respond to various situations like when they are angry, happy, satisfied, etc. Some of the traits that an HCP will portray include;
- All or nothing mentality – an HCP person will consider ruining a situation even more rather than finding a solution. They are never considerate and will blame you for something they did. According to them, there are two types of people; Good people who share their sentiments and bad people who don’t see the same. An HCP person will want to do all sorts of damage to bad people, including spreading wrong information about them, bullying, and other sorts of things to diminish their reputation.
- Always justifying their actions – one of the worst characters to deal with is someone who wants to prove that they are right when they are clearly wrong. They want to give all sorts of excuses to take them out of the equation when in the real sense, they are the main cause of the problem. If you realize that you are dating someone who always blames you, there are very high chances that they have HCP, unless you are always doing the wrong thing.
- Irrational design making – a normal human being will want to make things right. For example, if you wrong someone and realize it, the first thing you will want to do is apologize. On the other hand, a person with HCP can decide to hold the beef and even cause more trouble, like starting a fight or responding rudely to someone they have wronged.
- Intense emotions: People with HCP are reactive, and that is why you don’t want to engage them in an argument or any situation. A small issue that one can solve with dialogue can turn into a big mess for no good reason. Some get violent, and in many communities, such people are highly avoided because you never know when they will fire up and overreact over something.
Dealing with a person with HCP
Relationships are different, and although people with HCP are hard to deal with, we still find them in our workplaces, homes, and successful relationships as well. That can only mean that as much as they are terrible, they are manageable. Some of the things you can do to maintain a positive relationship with a person with HCP include;
- Short responses – People with HCP have one problem, which is to react to something. To avoid triggering their emotions, you should try to avoid giving them something to react over. You will therefore want to give brief responses brief and to the point.
- Be friendly – there is a way through which you can hold an argument with an HCP person without getting them to overreact. However, this requires you to have high self-awareness since they may not respond the way you expect them to.
- Informative discussions – when you begin holding opinionated discussions with an HCP person, they are more likely to get out of control. That is because they are always right and will want to win always. By feeding them the information they don’t have, you will knock them off, and they don’t have anything to defend or react over since it is not about them.
Ending up in a relationship with someone you don’t know is dangerous.
People with HCP are toxic, and they know it, and in many cases, they will do their best to hide their bad character.
According to Bill Eddy, a therapist, you should be careful when dating someone who;
- The perfect match
Because they want to get you to fall in love with them so that they can trap you in their world, they will want to be perfect for you. That means you will have similar interests and many other things in common. It is not usual to meet someone who is exactly like you. Once you commit to this relationship, getting out can be hard and painful.
According to research that Billy Eddy conducted, most people with HCP appear to be charismatic when dating. They will do their best to impress, and they will not mind spending money on trips and presents. However, once you get past the relationship’s dating stage, they become a whole different person, and the charm fades away.
3.High sexual attraction
These are the kind of people that will rush into sex when dating since one of their characteristics is that they are hungry for affection. They are normally intense and become less interested in you once you commit fully to the relationship.
Although it is not definite that all the signs can mean that someone has high conflict personalities but, they are just signs and pointers that can help you identify them.
Relationships should be enjoyable, and from what we know, it is a partnership that both members need to play their part. On the other hand, an HCP person will leave you to carry the relationship, and if you are not careful, you can end up in a bad relationship that will take away your life and dreams. It is highly recommended that you take as much time as you need to study with your partner.